Chapter Four
How to Talk and Be With Our Children: Although leaving the abusive home takes tremendous courage and resolve, one of the most difficult tasks is rebuilding relationships with the children and helping them heal from the wounds of the abusive home. Chapter Four introduces this issue and discusses ways to approach the healing process. Brandon is lying on his bed sobbing. Sheila sits down and rubs his back... After a while he calms down. "Why can't we see Dad?" he asks. "I miss him." This is such a difficult question for Sheila. She doesn't want to "bad mouth" Tom to the kids but she wants them to understand that they are better off away from him. She reminds herself of what she has learned about validating their feelings and not feeling obligated to have an explanation or answer for their questions... "I know you miss your Dad, but right now we can't see him. The most important thing is for you to always tell me how you're feeling so I can understand what you're going through. Tell me more about how it feels to you to be missing Daddy so much." Brandon starts sobbing again. "I hate you Mom!" he yells through his sobs. "I hate you for taking Daddy away!" He buries his head in the pillow and sobs uncontrollably... |
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